Heart On My Sleeve
By Redrum
Author's Notes: A story I came up with soon after writing my other poem. I was thinking about what I said, "When I fall in love, I fall deep." And I just thought I would put that into words. And into my favourite character to boot ^_^ Tell me what you think. I hope I'm not being repetitive when it comes to my Squally and all his angst involving people leaving him and not being able to say I love you.
Heart On My Sleeve
By Redrum
I feel the soft spring breeze blowing through my chestnut hair. The coolness of the water lapping against my bare feet. The silky texture of fur around my neck. The smooth leather draped loosely around my small frame like a lover's touch. I feel alone.
Sitting here on this rock, watching the tide come in with nothing better to do then think. Wallow in my loneliness. I've tried to brake it, to loosen it's shackles. But it's impossible.
People question my cold heart. They ask how I can be so stoic. They ask how I can live a life of loneliness. The truth of it is... I can't. No one can live in a life without companion ship. Not even 'Shiva's Bitch'. I'm only cold to those who have burned me. Those who have left me. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I just keep it there in a block of ice.
I love easily, and I fall hard. Once I'm in love, it's almost impossible to get over it. But I make it. Just barely. I love everyone around me. I'm in love with only a selected few. Those who have given me their time, those who have seen past my ice walls. My heart melts for those people. My heart burns for those people.
And they leave me. They laugh in my face when I whisper my true emotions.
Rinoa. She's not really the first case. But she's the first that most people know of. The first people are those like Edea, Raine, and Laguna. Anyway.. She left me for Zone. Zone, can you believe that? I guess when I finally said I loved her she decided that she didn't want a knight anymore. So she left.
Zell. Not many people know of him. They think he's as straight as an arrow. And believe me he is. I know that now. He dumped me for that library girl. When I shared my body with him he left me and said he couldn't take it anymore. Said he wanted someone who could return his affections. Didn't he know that I did?
Irvine. No, he's not really a slut. If he was I never would have slept with him. I thought he really loved me. We were in a relationship for three years. Three fucking years. And he dumps me without a reason. Just up and left.
Seifer... my one and only soul mate. I really love him. He apologized for that time in the D-District prison, said it wasn't all his fault. And I believe him. I've never told him that I love him. He tells me all the time though. When were holding each other late at night, glistening bodies pressed together, his arms wrapped around me he whispers it in my ear. All I do is sigh and kiss him in return.
I know I love him. I just can't say it. It feels like I've said it so many times now, it feels like it isn't even real anymore. Fuck. I just wish I could say it! I really do.
Dark shadows cast over me, the only warning I get before I feel a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist. Two muscular legs rest on either side of me. I lay back contently. This is where I'm meant to be. If I could die now I would almost be happy. But I can't die, not yet. Not until I can whisper those sweet words to him. Not until he knows that I love him with all my heart.
"Beautiful isn't it?" He rests his chin against my leather clad shoulder. The warmth he gives off sooths my soul.
"Not as beautiful as you." He chuckles slightly.
"I'd have to say the same." I let out a gasp as he nibbles on my ear lobe, shucking on the diamond hoop.
"I missed you." His smooth lips make a slow and sensual path down to my collar bone.
"Not as much as I missed you. Two weeks without seeing your pale skin, stormy eyes, beautiful body. Without hearing your husky voice, I barely survived. But I'm here now. And I'll make sure I hear that voice scream out in pleasure tonight." He chuckles slightly as he hears me moan in pleasure.
"Seifer... your so.. mmm... fucking eloquent." His warm tongue is lapping the junction of shoulder to neck. Mmmm, sooo good.
"Not like your any better. 'Oh Seifer! Fuck.. Fuck me, please! I need you!' And so on. Though I wouldn't have it any other way. You don't know how much you drive me crazy."
He stops lapping and instead turns me around to face him. My legs on either side of him. His emerald eyes stare intently into mine, not breaking our gaze he leans in, his mouth millimeters from mine.
"I love you Squall."
"I.." He silences me with his mouth. His wet tongue glides along my pouting lower lip, nibbling gently he pulls back slightly.
"Shhh.. I know baby. I know how you feel. You don't have to say it if you can't. I always know what your thinking." My eyes widen slightly, and I pull him in for a passionate kiss. I'm so ecstatic I can barely feel anything else but the warm press of our bodies, his steadily rising bulge, and my own tent in my pants. All I feel is him. And I know that I love him. I know that I'll say it soon. I know that he won't leave me. He truly loves me.