Authorís Notes:

A very short PWP. Originally this figment was part of a Squall/Zell story I was working on a few months ago, but it didnít fit the theme of the story. Itís short and incomplete, but I think itís kinda funny. I also think that I captured Squallís Squaresoft personality pretty well. So here you go.

Thanks again to the people who have reviewed my stories on fanfiction.net. Iím putting a lot more of my stuff up on that site than I had originally intended Ďcuz of you guys. I love hearing your opinions! Thanks a lot! ~Kaerith

Emergency Defense Plan 601

By Kaerith

A loud recording jolts me out of sleep. "ÖEmergency Defense Plan number six-oh-one. Alarm. Enemy approaching. Activate Emergency Defense Plan number six-oh-one. Alarm."

Six-oh-one, six-oh-oneÖ I struggled to remember that specific plan through a sleepy fog that was rapidly dissipating. Cadets, Level One, Atrium. SeeDs upstairs. My defense squad of fifteen SeeDs was positioned by the upstairs emergency exit.

While my mind was sorting this out, my body had gone into automatic. Already dressed in the first clothes that had come to hand, I grabbed my basic armor before snatching Lionheart and running out the door.

The flashing yellow emergency lights lit up the hallway. Yellow, good, I noted. It meant there was time to get into position before the enemy actually attacked. I avoided the atrium and the organized chaos that would be going on, throwing open the door to a side stairwell and ducking inside. I immediately tripped over a huddled young cadet.

"Sir! Are you okay?" he blurted, alarmed.

I quickly stood and turned. "Cadet, what are your orders?!" I barked. His trembling increased, but he stood. "D-dunno, sir," he spoke to the floor.

I peered through the dimness and noticed the boy wasnít in uniform. Civilian, I judged with a feeling of mild disgust. "Who are you with?"

"V-v-visiting with Matr- Edea Kramer, sir," he answered meekly. I thought. "Címon, then, Iíll take you to Cid." Although I donít know how happy heíll be burdened with a child during an attack. I resumed sprinting up the stairs, running through the strategy in my head.

"Sir. Sir!" Hynedammitalltohell! The stupid kid! I looked back to see him struggling a few yards behind me, his unease of me overcome by his fear of being left behind. I was going to have to hold the kidís hand. Ugh! I hate kids! Their hands are always sticky. Gathering up my courage I jumped down and grabbed his hand, pulling the boy behind me as I continued- a little slower- up the stairs, ignoring the small squeaks and whimpers, and noting in a small corner of my mind: "His hand isnít sticky."

We finally burst out the door to find ourselves in a second-story hallway. "Right," I muttered, and marched in that direction, yanking the kid along. A couple more turns and we were in front of the headmasterís office. Fed up with the responsibility I entered the office, disrupting the higher-ranked officers and Cidís huddle around the table.

Edea rose from a couch, leaving behind two small girls. With a relieved "Kenji! I told you not to run off!" she bent and opened her arms, expecting the kid to run directly into them.

Well, the brat didnít do the expected. He just tightened his grip on my hand and wrapped himself around my right leg. "Go on, go!" Nothing. I gave my leg and experimental shake, not producing the desired effect. The parasite sat on my foot, hooked his legs behind my ankle, and squeezed. "Hey! Heís cutting off my circulation!" I shook harder, but the little limpet hung on. Not that heís little. I have a forty-pound passenger on my leg!

Edea and the girls started giggling. "He likes you," Edea explained. Even Cid and the officers were cracking smiles.

"I donít know why. I practically pulled his arm out running up here!" The shaking intensified. One of the younger officers let out a guffaw. "Get it off of me! This isnít funny! Iím supposed to be up at the emergency exit! Iím the goddammed squad leader!" Fuck, what a day! My headache was back in all its head-thumping glory. Great. Hungover and I may have a permanent kid on my leg. I quelled the panic and forced myself to act like a professional. "Headmaster, sir, I must get to my station. Weíre about to be attacked and I am needed as the squad leader."

"SeeD, you will remain here. Deek," Cid motioned to the officer who had laughed, "Go inform Leonhartís squad."

"Sir!" Deek saluted and ran off.

"But-" to my horror the protest had slipped out and I weakly waved a hand, directing the headmasterís attention to the silent leech that had strengthened his grip.

"Oh, Squall, donít worry," Cid put a hand on my shoulder. "Weíll get Kenji off when weíve finished the emergency defense drill."

"EmÖmergency drill?" I repeated stupidly. "Of course!" Cid replied, "We donít have any really threatening enemy forces presently."

He and a few of the officers chuckled at the expression on my face. A drill? Fuck, what a day! Mercifully, my GFs stayed silent. Good. Any amusement from them and Iíll junction Ďem to a dim-witted bite bug.

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