Author's Notes: Erm… started out with the thought of another PWP lemon yaoi fic, but well... not exactly the result. Guess I just needed to write something other than LSOTS. Let me know what you think... will continue into lemony areas if enough people crave it, otherwise I’ll leave it as it is.

Ok, before you read on... I don’t own any of the characters and don’t read if you don’t like the thought of CG history’s sexiest men making out. And please visit my homepage to view more of the couple ^_^


By AeroKnight

The golden light of the sun caressed his skin. He was practising his skills again, preparing for another duel that would never come. The skilled fighter moved in slow-motion, aiming for perfection. His blue-lit gunblade cut through the air around him in graceful motions.

Not far away, another gunblader walked by, deep in thought it seemed.

The first still practising, only now noticed the other’s presence.

Don’t look at me. Don’t stare at me. Don’t notice me.

I am nothing but the slave of my feelings for you.

Please, leave.

“Hi, Squall” the other man said, finally noticing the practising Commander. “Didn’t see you there. Mind if I join you?”

No visible emotion surfaced on Squall, his cool blue eyes remaining constant, cold.

“Do as you please.”

Leave me.

I can’t do this.

Don’t stay.

The blond guy joined in, smirked, and raised his dark gunblade to signal the start of a duel.

“Seifer,” the slim dark haired man said, as he accepted the challenge.

“Squall,” the blond man replied, his mouth curving into a satisfied grin.

Don’t look at me like that.

I am not strong.

I am weak.

You always conquer me.

The two gunblades clashed together, brought on by a force known only to the two sparring.

On the field, the two men fought, each feint and parry only worthy of the other's. There was no goal other than to increase their abilities and be in the other’s company. The blond man kept pushing the other man to the edge, demanding everything from him, demanding all he could not demand from anyone else. He smiled when he noticed a sign of fatigue surface in the other fighter: Squall’s hands were shaking slightly.

I can’t hold on.

Don’t look at me. Don’t stare at me. Don’t feel me.

The dark haired man lost his concentration for a split second, and that was enough for his partner to conquer him. The gunblade fell from his hands onto the grass. The muscular blond looked questioningly at Squall.

“You alright?” he asked, letting his hand touch the other’s wrist softly. He stared at Squall, who avoided his eyes, looking nervous. Seifer had never seen Squall acting this way. Something had to be wrong.

“What’s wrong, Squall?”

The dark haired man gulped to try and satisfy the dry spot that had settled in his throat.


I can’t. I won’t.

You mean too much to me.

Squall silently turned away from the blond, trying his best to keep calm. He had known this would happen. It had been bound to, sooner or later. He had just hoped for later.

Seifer’s grimace changed when Squall turned his back to him. Granted, Squall had always been the silent type, not that much of a talker, but this behaviour was too strange, even by Squall standards. The blond frowned. He had enjoyed their growing bond the last couple of months. They had finally put the past behind them, and had enjoyed duelling from time to time, when Squall wasn’t too busy commanding the Garden.

Die. Emotions die.


Let me feel you skin, let me feel your love, let me feel your body next to mine.

“Squall?” Seifer tried again, reaching for the other man’s hand, to make him turn around.

Squall turned hesitantly, still refusing to looking at Seifer.

“What is all this?!” Seifer asked, beginning to feel slightly agitated by Squall’s soundless behaviour.

Momentarily, Squall eyed the blond man not letting any emotions show whatsoever.

Don’t look at me like that

Deep inside I’m falling apart.

It’ll never be the same.

“Oh GOD, Squall, answer me!!! ...You can’t do this to me... I thought we were friends.”

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

“You forgave me, spent time with me... became my frie-“

“That’s exactly why!!!” Squall desperately cried. Seifer had never in his life seen such an outburst of emotions take over Squall. He swallowed.

“Why what?” he finally asked.

I don’t touch you.

I don’t kiss you.

I kill my emotions... for you.

You’ll never understand.

A tear trickled down Squall’s cheek, unable to keep all the pent-up emotions inside.

“Squall... tell me...” Seifer whispered reaching up to dry the tear. He felt his insides tear at the mere sight of Squall.

There’s no going back, no returning.

I will be lost forever.

Without your love.

“I love you,“ Squall said almost inaudible.

“What?!” Seifer asked, chuckling, but stopped abruptly when a hurt look greeted him.

That’s it.

You’ll leave me.

Fate can be so cruel.

Without a sound, the blond man stepped closer to the slightly shorter Commander, closing the distance between them. Gently, he slipped his arms around Squall, embracing him lovingly, yet carefully, as if Squall were an especially priceless treasure.

Torture me.

Laugh at me.

Burn my feelings.

Nothing can hurt me more than not being with you.

“Oh, Squall,” Seifer whispered into the smaller man’s hair and sighed with what seemed like relief. “I thought you were straight.”

He gently pushed Squall a bit away from him, just enough for him to be able to gaze into the deep blue of Squall’s eyes, dark bangs hanging in front of them.

Without further ado he slowly pressed his lips against Squall’s, shy in his approach. They stood touching like that for a while, neither moving, just breathing slowly, lips barely touching. Suddenly, Squall nibbled at Seifer’s bottom lip, kissing it sensually. It didn’t fail in its goal to arouse Seifer, who soon joined in and the gentle nibbling evolved into small probing kisses.

You touch me.

I feel heaven.

My soul has longed for far too long.

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