Coming Out Party
Chapter Three - Inner Space
What I need now, Squall thought determinedly, is a course of action. I need to remain calm...to focus on the problem at hand, keep a cool and level head-
"You are so dead, Chicken! Iím gonna rip off your arms and use Ďem to beat the unholy living crap outta you!"
"OOF! Seifer, be reasonable... AAAAAAAAH! Squall! Squall, save me! ACK! I wonít tell, honest! EEP!"
But to keep a calm, cool, level head with all the god-forsaken squawking, squealing, growling and creative cursing that was going on was damn near impossible. "Seifer," Squall bit out after Zell slid across the table and into the opposite wall for the third time, "Quit it. I need to think, and I canít do that with Zell flying across the room." He glared coldly enough to shoot icicles and hoped that his fiery blond lover would somehow notice.
He noticed; Seifer froze, pausing with his hands flung forward in mid-throw. After a final, decisive "SLAM" the sickening sounds of Zellís body making impact with various surfaces in the study room at last came to a halt. Squall sighed wearily.
Not that Iíd trust anybody else to take care of these things, understand, but why does this kind of stuff always happen to me?
"Squall! Donít let him kill me, Squall!" Zell begged. Squall watched the martial artist stagger up off the floor, bloodshot baby-blue eyes bugging out and still spinning slightly in his head. "It was an accident!"
"Quiet, Chickenwuss! Didnít you hear him? Heís trying to think," Seifer barked, the wild look fading from his blue-green eyes as they narrowed on Squall. "Well, Leonhart?" the tall blond demanded tersely after a moment. "What have you got?"
"..." Squall scowled, bringing his fingers up to tap his forehead. "Iím working on it."
[Warning: You Are Now Entering Inner Space]
All right, declared the logical part of Squallís brain, rubbing its mental hands together. While Zell is temporarily safe from death by Seifer (which is kind of like death by chocolate, only a tad messier and with more of a kick), weíll examine the problem: Zell knows that you and Seifer are more than friends. In fact, thanks to his little jaunt in the study room supply closet, Zell knows that you two are together in every sense of the word, and at the moment heís giving you those hangdog eyes, the ones that positively beg the question of why you would even consider doing in such a sweet, innocent little soul (oh good grief, how could his mother stand it? Ma Dincht. The Dinchts... You know, the word ĎDinchtí actually sounds kind of like the word Ďdignityí, which is rather ironic, all things considered). Zellís lower lip is trembling, and...wait, are those tears welling up too? As tempted as you might be, I think itís safe to say that killing Zell-
ĎHow about maiming?í asked the illogical part of Squall stashed somewhere in the back of his brain.
-nope, maiming Zell or even threatening Zell is out. Besides, heís our friend even if he did eavesdrop on us screwing on the table. Logic paused, giving a mental nod of satisfaction.
Now, letís move on to the next problem at hand: Seifer. Seifer would probably kill Zell if you blinked at him right now (or sneezed...or blinked while you sneezed, which you would have to do anyway since you canít sneeze with your eyes open), but you know that he doesnít actually mind that Zell knows (despite the ease with which he was tossing him about like salad greens), and the only reason he hasnít told anyone about the two of you is because you asked him not to.
But, Logic raised a pointed finger. Seifer wants to.
And furthermore, now that someone knows it gives him a perfectly logical excuse (and I should know) to do it. So, the question then becomes not what to do about Zell knowing, but what to do about Seifer wanting to tell everyone else? Seifer... Well... Seifer... Logic was having a bit of a problem getting past this one. Heís so-
ĎGorgeous,í slyly interjected the very illogical part of Squallís brain. That particular part was paying only mild attention to the discussion at hand, otherwise busily replaying every detail of their afternoon tryst in glorious Technicolor.
-well, gorgeous, yes, Logic smiled indulgently, of course, simply magnificent all poised to defend your honor by smashing Zell into the wall like that, but thatís not the issue. The issue is that you didnít and still donít want anyone to know because...illogic began to whimper...well, because, but now someone does and both Seifer and Zell are waiting for you to tell them what youíre all going to do about the situation.
"Headmaster? Headmaster Leonhart?" A sharp rap on the study room door briefly interrupted the inner dialogue. "Your time is up, and I have a student who would like to use the room. Headmaster?"
Oh, and on top of everything else, the librarian is now here with a student demanding to be let in. So, Logic paused, having taken it all into account. What are we going to do about this situation?
ĎUm. Pass out?í mumbled illogic hopefully.
ĎI second that!í extreme illogic chimed in.
Hmm. On the whole, that sounds rather reasonable to me, Logic concurred.
[Warning: Leaving Inner Space]
"Squall, are you alright? Youíre looking a little gray..." Zell suddenly sounded very anxious. The small blond took a few steps towards where he stood and peered intently at him, tattoo contorting slightly into a strange swirling mass of black and white and pink. How odd, Squall mused as he squinted at Zellís face. It had never looked quite like that before. And how very nice of Zell to be so concerned for him... Squall blinked. At least, he thought it was Zell.
Cause there appeared to be two of the little blond, and he wasnít quite sure which one was speaking.
"The motion to pass out has been seconded. All in favor..." the brunette murmured dazedly, shaking his shaggy head as Zell and Seifer exchanged worried glances. "Zell, Seifer, could the four of you handle the librarian? Iím going to lie down for a while."
"Leonhart, youíre not making any sense..." Seifer started forward, trailing off as Squallís eyes rolled into the back of his head, and the leather-clad youth gracefully slipped to the floor.
[So, this is it, huh? Hmm... Not quite what he expected, but it was dark and quiet and that counted for something...]
[...Hell, who was he kidding? It counted for a lot!]
"Hey. Hey, Squall."
[...Yes sir-ee, now he could see the appeal...although if he fainted as much as Rinoa itíd probably be bad for Garden morale...]
"Heís out cold. No, dammit, why donít you...Chicken, look, would you just get the door, and Iíll-"
[No, it simply wouldnít do to faint every time Quistis came to him with some problem; heíd be flopping around all over the place! And besides, being unconscious was very undignified. He probably looked like a pole-axed cow...]
"Squall?" Hands gently brushed the hair from his eyes and lightly slapped his face. "Leonhart, come on, work with me."
[...Mmm? Oh...I would, Seifer, but Iíve got a good thing going here. Give me a few more minutes to enjoy it... Really, itís ok. Go on. Talk amongst yourselves. Zell, you were saying?]
"-out like a light first try, but me in the closet, can I pull it off? Nooooooooo. No fainting for Zell Dincht, so I just have to sit there with my fingers in my ears and-hey, Squall?" Someone was shaking him. "Squall, can you hear me? Hey man, listen. Donít worry about it. Really, itís cool that youíre a homo. Gay. Whatever. Honest!"
[ĎItís cool that Iím a homoí? Well, gee, Zell, that just inspires a load of confidence.]
"Chicken," Seiferís tight voice growled from somewhere close by, "just shut the fuck up, ok? Think you can do that by yourself, or do I have to help you?"
[Actually, to be honest, I donít know that Iíve ever thought of myself as gay.]
"Honestly, Seifer, I was only tryiní to make him feel better about...Eep! Ok, ok, you donít have to hit so hard-"
[Because I fell in love with Seifer. I mean, heís always been there, even though it took me a while to see it. Heís fought me and scarred me. Heís made fun of me...he still makes fun of me for that matter, and even now he frustrates me to no end and always blows bubbles on me even though I absolutely hate that. Seifer makes me laugh. He loves me. He makes love to me. He makes me whole. He makes me happy... I love Seifer, and he just happens to be a man.]
And then a hand so warm and familiar that it could only be Seiferís briefly caressed his cheek. "Donít listen to the Chicken, ok, Sleeping Beauty? Just get your ass back here so we can figure out what to do."
Return to Archive | next | previous