Broken Column
By Redrum
This fic came out of inspiration of the following song. Although I don't really like how it's sung, the lyrics are really good.
"I'll never let you see The way my broken heart is hurtin' me I've got my pride and I know how to hide All my sorrow and pain I'll do my crying in the rain."
Fragment from "Crying In The Rain" by Everly Brothers
Broken Column
By Redrum
He was there again. He's so predictable. Whenever it rains, I know I can find him out here. Sitting on the cold, wet ground. Knees drawn up, arms wrapped tightly around them. Chin resting lightly on top. His chestnut hair is always soaked by the time I reach him. He never comes out here if it's just a light drizzle, there wouldn't be a point. He only sits out here if it's pouring. Some might say he comes out here because he likes the rain, it is his name sake after all. But that's not that case. Of course he does like the rain, so do I. The sound of water splashing onto the ground, and sometimes cracks of thunder off in the distance if it's a true storm. But he comes out here for another reason. No ones ever seen him cry. No one thinks he 'can' cry. I'm the only one that has seen his shoulders sake with sobs, that to anyone else looking would think of as shivers from the cold rain. I'm seen the anguish in his eyes, the smoke- blue orbs shimmering with tears. Everything else about him is beautiful, so it's no surprise that even his tears would be too.
He's sitting in his usual spot. Just in front of the large broken column that used to hold up the orphanage. It's no surprise that he would take the time just to come here and cry. He's not making any loud noises, he never does. He's not the type of person to be loud, so why would he change that just because he's alone? But from this small distance I can hear his small whimpers. So sad and painful they almost make me weep along with him.
Of course I'm standing in my usual spot. Just far enough away from him that he won't notice me. I come here to watch him, and to watch over him. People think he's the perfect soldier, but when he breaks down he's as human as the rest of us. He won't hear the snap of a twig when he's caught up in his misery. I've already fought one Fastitocalon-F that had tried to sneak up on him, he never even noticed the sound of steel hitting flesh.. well scales really. So I'm here to protect him. I've even managed to redirect someone's attention when they were walking to the ruins of the orphanage to take a closer look. I don't want anyone interrupting his time to cry. His time to finally let it all out. I'll never tease him about it when he returns back to the Garden, I barely tease him about anything anymore. Although I still make plenty fun of Chickie.
When I came back to the Garden I was 'this' close to making a wise crack at him. But I stopped myself when I saw the hidden pain in those cloudy depths. I couldn't make that pain worse with my taunts. So I instead tried to strike up a friendship. It wasn't easy of course, he was still mistrusting of me, but who wouldn't be after I tortured him in the prison? We built a rocky friendship, that strengthened a little bit when Rinoa left him. Left him for Zone back in Timber.
He was hurt of course. When we were talking I found out she left him just after he gave up his virginity to her. Most people think that it doesn't matter if a man's virginity is taken, but it does, to some. I gave it up to Rinoa, and you know what she did? She left me for Squall. But that's okay, I'm fine with that. On the other hand, Squall has always been a very private person. He doesn't let many people get away with even laying a hand on him. So it meant a lot to him to lose his virginity. But Rinoa didn't care. She just went out for more conquests. And left Squall here. To sit by this one broken column and weep every time a storm comes.
"Why are you here Seifer?" I start when I hear his voice break my thoughts. Sighing quietly, I stride over to the brunette and sit myself down beside him. "Why are you always here?" He looks down, avoiding my gaze. We both know why we're here. He to cry, and me to protect him. "But why do you always follow me here?" His quiet voice breaks my thoughts again. I sake my head and he falls silent.
The rain continues to pour. Making a gentle rustling noise as large drops fall to the ground. Glancing over at Squall I see only rain on his face. "You don't have to stop on my account. You know I've seen you cry before since I'm here every time you are." Squall places his smooth chin on top of his knees again. His arms tighten around his bent legs.
"It's different when your right there." Nodding my head in agreement I choose to remain silent. "I never really figured out why you stopped taunting me when you came back." At the sudden shift in topic I glance over at him. I place my arm loosely around his waist, frowning in slight disappointment when he flinches.
"I saw the pain in your eyes." His smoky orbs widen in surprise.
"But.. no one else.." He turns his head to face me. His pale cheek resting against his knees instead.
"I saw what everyone else couldn't. I know you too well Squall, I know you better then you may know yourself. I remembered the times from the orphanage when you would walk out here and cry in the rain. I remember.. a time when you would let me hold you close as you cried. As the rain drenched us. And I remember the day I left and when you finally came to the Garden, when I forgot all about those times and when you still remembered. I remember how you piled the GFs on, trying to forget. But some how you still remembered that you could take comfort in the rain. And you may have even.. deep inside, still felt so comfortable around me that you let yourself go. Regardless of my supposedly hidden presence. And what I don't understand is why you never called me on it before now." Squall sighs, and turns to look at the wet meadow in front of him. The silence is only broken by the sound of rain falling against cold hard earth.
"I guess because I'm used to you. I never cried in front of the others. And you were the only one that would comfort me in my time of need when we were kids. And now.. after all these years, you manage to calm me with your very presence. I don't have to see you to know your there. I just.. know. When your there I know I'm protected, and I can let myself go. Without the fear of you telling others, I know your not that kind of person. I don't know that much about you, but I do know that I can count on you when I need to." I smile slightly in agreement. "And even if I don't want you there, I know you'll be there anyway to protect me. No matter how hard I glare at you." I laugh and tighten my arm around Squall. Pulling him back gently so he rests in the crook of my arm.
We stare out into the field. The rain is slowly coming to an end, and I find that Squall's tears have also ended. Using my free hand I wipe the silver tracks of his smooth cheeks, and wrap both my arms around him in a comfortable hold. We stay like that for what seems like hours. Looking down at his face I tighten my arms around Squall. His long black lashes flutter against his high cheek bones and his chest falls and rises in a steady and slow rhythm. A small peaceful smile graces his peach coloured lips, and I feel my own smile spreading across my face in answer to his. Happy that I can offer him the peace and comfort he's always wanted. I cast a repel spell around us, making sure that I don't have to stay awake to stand guard. Sighing in content, I rest my cheek against Squall's silky hair. The faint smell of wet pine reaches my nostrils before I close my eyes in peaceful slumber. Enjoying the body heat of the man in my arms.
When the blondes breathing slows in slumber, Squall's eyes part slightly. Feeling Seifer all around him. His warm breath rustling his hair, warmth seeping through his body to Squall's, despite the wet clothes they both wear. Squall sighs quietly. A gentle rush of air escaping his parted lips. His mouth quirks up in a small smile. Snuggling closer to Seifer, Squall lets his eyes close again. Whispered words escaping his smooth lips, not reaching the blonde's ears.
"It's always better when your here to hold me Seifer."