“That’s all he’ll ever see me as. Because I died at 16, no matter how old I am, he’ll always treat me as a child. He’s honestly no better. He’s supposed to be 26 but he’s so immature, it’s hard to tell sometimes that he’s older than me. Then he throws my age in my face. Even 50 years from now, he’ll still consider me a boy. Nothing more than a man. I hate it. He was given the chance to grow into man. Or, at least, into the body of a man. He’s developed, defined, tall, attractive... All those things I wish I could be. I’m amused and also a little jealous that so many girls and even guys are always hitting on him. It must be flattering. So what if the girls think I’m ‘cute.’ Cute doesn’t see the city at night.”
Tsuzuki popped his head into Hisoka’s study. Hisoka was asleep with his arms folded on the desk. Tsuzuki smiled and walked into the little office. He picked up Hisoka and cradled him. Hisoka’s paper fell to the floor. Tsuzuki acknowledged it and brought Hisoka to his bed. He tucked his partner in and went back to the study to pick up Hisoka’s notes. Respecting the young man’s privacy, Tsuzuki just put it back on the desk, noticing “26 but he’s so immature.” He shrugged it off. It was none of his business what Hisoka thought of him. Besides, the two of them seemed to have a pretty healthy relationship.
The next day, Tsuzuki and Hisoka were having tea in the morning. Hisoka looked even more distressed that Tsuzuki did.
“What’s wrong, Hisoka?”
“N...nothing. Really. But...” Hisoka huffed, “what’s been bothering you?”
“Me?” Tsuzuki asked, shocked.
“Remember, I can read your heart.”
“Um...” Tsuzuki panicked. “The thing is... When I brought you to bed, your notes fell. So I picked it up and put it on your desk. But I read the words ‘26 but he’s so immature.’ but I didn’t read it on purpose, I swear. But I’m just... I just... do you... have something against me?”
Hisoka turned away and blushed.
“It’s none of your business. But I don’t have anything against you.”
“Then, what’s wrong? Why did you write that about me?”
“I... I... just can’t... N...never mind, alright?” Hisoka said as he stood up, ready to leave.
“I like you very much. And you’re my partner. We shouldn’t keep secrets. But I won’t force you to tell me.”
“Hmm.” Hisoka snubbed and walked out.
“All his talk about being partners and sharing... He’s sincere about it... Unless he’d just convinced himself that that’s the way it should be. It’s almost like his dumb-down version of... God, I’m–”
Hisoka slammed his book down on his looseleaf. He got up and left his study.
The young man approached Tsuzuki who was sitting in a chair outside, under the sakura trees.
“What’s up, kid?”
“That exactly! I don’t want you to call me a kid! I don’t want you to keep treating me like a child!”
Tsuzuki sat up straight.
“Well, Hisoka... You ARE a kid. And seeing as the two of us get into fights because you lose your temper so easily...”
Hisoka got flustered. He walked away.
“That jerk thinks he can make fun of me, too!” Hisoka shouted as he hit the wall with his fist.
He went to his desk, shredding all of his papers with anything written about Tsuzuki. He broke down and cried.
“He’ll never look at me as an adult. Not even 20 years from now!”
Hisoka held himself and cried hard.
Later on, the young man settled down and layed on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. There was a soft knocking at the door.
Tsuzuki popped his head into the room.
“That’s me. What do you want?”
Tsuzuki walked in and sat next to Hisoka on his bed.
“I think we need to talk.”
“For the last 7 months, I’ve tried to be your equal. But you keep treating me like a child. And I don’t know how I’m supposed to get beyond it. I died so young. I’ll never have a body like yours.”
Tsuzuki was shocked.
“Um... That’s lots to answer. My body?”
“Yeah, your body.”
“You like... my... body?”
“You’re so well-built.”
“....I am not.”
Hisoka sat up.
“Yes, you are.”
“I... am not.” Tsuzuki argued.
Hisoka reached for Tsuzuki’s tie and loosened it. Tsuzuki let Hisoka do so, but was confused. Hisoka unbuttoned Tsuzuki’s shirt and opened it to expose his modestly buffed torso. The two took a deep breath and Hisoka ran his hands down the sides of Tsuzuki’s body.
“Yeah...” Tsuzuki agreed, referring to Hisoka’s touch.
Tsuzuki moaned. Hisoka dragged his hands up to Tsuzuki’s nipples. Tsuzuki sighed and it sounded like a whine.
“Hisoka... What are you doing?”
“I’m just... rubbing it.”
“Don’t you think you should stop? You made your point.”
Hisoka pulled his hands away.
“My body, no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to make it stronger... Will always stay the same.”
“You have some definition, don’t you?”
“Only a little.”
“Let me see.”
Hisoka sighed and reached for the bottom of his shirt. He pulled it over his head. Tsuzuki looked in awe at Hisoka’s beautiful body. He reached out and dragged his hand down Hisoka’s chest. The young man moaned.
Tsuzuki took his hand away.
“It’s so cute.”
“Cute?” Hisoka asked, offended.
Hisoka dropped himself on the bed.
“Baka, I don’t want to be cute! I just want you to treat me as an equal.”
“An equal?” Tsuzuki scoffed.
He threw Hisoka down and held him by the shoulders. Hisoka struggled in vain.
“Equal?! What part of us can be equal?!”
“Let me go!”
“C’mon, Hisoka, how is it that you would like me to treat you as an equal?”
“I don’t know!”
“Well, you keep saying it, you must know.”
“I...” Hisoka blushed.
“Hisoka... What do you...”
Hisoka gasped. He heard what Tsuzuki was thinking.
Tsuzuki blushed and pulled away. Then Hisoka tackled Tsuzuki on to his back.
“You thought about it!”
“It doesn’t mean I want to do it!”
Hisoka crushed his lips into Tsuzuki’s, holding him into the embrace. Tsuzuki pulled away and threw his partner off of him. Hisoka fell off the bed, landing on his back. Tsuzuki looked down, off the side of the bed, panting.
“Hisoka... Are you okay?”
Hisoka sat up and hid his face.
“I’m fine...” His voice broke and he couldn’t hide it. He stood up and left.
Hisoka walked into the large building and closed the door behind him very quietly. It was about 1:30 in the morning and he expected everyone to be asleep. He gasped and fell into the corner when he saw Tsuzuki.
“You scared me.”
“I’m sorry about earlier.”
Hisoka didn’t look at Tsuzuki directly. He turned his head to the side.
“I said it was fine.”
“I don’t believe you.”
Hisoka sat into the corner and held himself, sobbing.
“I’m just so angry!”
“What about?” Tsuzuki asked, getting down on his knees.
“About the way you treat me, the way you’ll always treat me... There’s no way we’ll ever move past that.”
“Why are you crying?”
“Because I can see that you care.”
Tsuzuki blushed. He leaned into Hisoka.
“Do you... Want to...”
Hisoka nodded and leaned in to Tsuzuki. The two gently seized lips. Tsuzuki took Hisoka’s lips into his mouth as far as he could. They massaged lips with their tongues, gently moaning and groaning. Hisoka giggled and held Tsuzuki into him. The two caressed lips, smiling and teasing. Tsuzuki managed to pull away from the reluctant Hisoka.
“Maybe we should... go somewhere less public.”
The two went into Hisoka’s room, Tsuzuki closing the door behind him. Hisoka peeled off his shirt and attacked Tsuzuki who was still at the door. Tsuzuki turned his face away from the young man.
Tsuzuki solemnly turned to Hisoka.
“I thought... I guess I thought you didn’t care...”
“You’re a boy... I’m an old man...”
“Tsuzuki...” Hisoka pulled away. “Why did you come here?”
“When you ran off, I was so worried... I just wanted to get you to bed safely.”
“Is THAT why you kissed me?”
“N–no. I did that because I wanted to. But I can’t do anything with you because... Even though I don’t want to say it... You’re a child.”
Hisoka snapped and went to his bed. He took his pants off and pulled his sheets back. He got into his bed.
“Well, good night.” He said coldly.
“Hisoka... Don’t be that way.”
“Just go. We’ll talk in the morning.”
Tsuzuki loosened his tie and opened his shirt. He walked toward Hisoka’s bed. He sat next to Hisoka on the bed.
“What do you want?”
“I want to be with you. In a way that you wouldn’t imagine.”
“Well, you haven’t been with anyone yet.”
“......Well, I wouldn’t say..... I have... Well, it’s none of your business, anyway...”
“Do you want to say yes or no?”
“I want to say yes... But I’m afraid...”
Hisoka massaged Tsuzuki’s body again. The older man moaned. Hisoka retracted one hand and licked his middle and forefinger. He placed them on one of Tsuzuki’s nipples. The brunette whined. Hisoka leaned up and kissed Tsuzuki on the lips. Tsuzuki welcomed Hisoka’s comforting embrace. He pulled away.
“What do you want to do?”
“I want you to make love to me.”
Tsuzuki nodded. He pulled away and took off his shirt. Then Hisoka helped him out of his pants, leaving both of them in their underwear. Hisoka couldn’t wait to get Tsuzuki naked. He reached out for the elastic on Tsuzuki’s briefs, ready to pull them down. Tsuzuki held his hands still. The two locked eyes.
“I love you.” Hisoka sweetly crooned.
“I love you, too.”
Hisoka tugged Tsuzuki’s remaining clothing down, licking his lips. He stared in awe at Tsuzuki’s happy piece. Tsuzuki began blushing and panting, self-conscious but excited.
“Can I... kiss it?”
Tsuzuki panted more. He licked his lips, unable to answer. Hisoka took it as a ‘yes.’ He wrestled Tsuzuki onto his back and kissed his lips then pulled away to kiss his chin, his neck, his chest... He found himself fixated on his nipple as his hand stroked the older man’s throbbing member. Tsuzuki moaned, trying to keep the noise inside. Hisoka chuckled and licked down to Tsuzuki’s pelvis, removing his tongue and holding the hard muscle to his lips. He opened his mouth and slid the tip in, rolling his tongue around it. Tsuzuki clutched the sheets and moaned out loud. But he sounded almost ashamed. He tried to hold his noises back. Hisoka took Tsuzuki into his mouth even further, making delicious sounds. He swallowed and deepthroated on Tsuzuki’s length. Tsuzuki let out another shy scream. Hisoka tried to acknowledge Tsuzuki’s satisfaction but he was too indulged in what he was doing. He sucked on Tsuzuki hard until the brunette tried to pry him up.
“Hisoka, I’m gonna come if you don’t let off.”
Hisoka pulled up and left the tip in his mouth. He looked at Tsuzuki, his piercing green eyes intent on competing his task.
“I want to taste it. I don’t care if you come and get soft. I want to taste you. Then I want you to put yourself inside of me and let me have my orgasm.”
“Well, with that kind of attitude, I don’t think I want to– ahh!”
Hisoka went fully down on Tsuzuki, making him unable to talk as he was lulled into bliss. He couldn’t take it anymore. He released himself into Hisoka’s mouth just as he told him he wanted him to. He felt guilty. Hisoka sucked him off and licked the tip, smiling. He moaned happily. Tsuzuki dropped his head back into the bed. He was spent. He breathed heavily until he felt Hisoka climb halfway up his body and held his soft piece again. He held his own shaft against his partner’s. Tsuzuki looked at the youth, questioning. Hisoka ignored the look and massaged both pieces together. Tsuzuki became instantly hard again. Hisoka panted softly. He started blushing when Tsuzuki helped on the other side. The golden blond leaned down and kissed his lover. The two massaged each other and giggled. Hisoka pulled away and lay on the bed, silently requesting to Tsuzuki that he crawl between his legs. Tsuzuki licked his fingers. Hisoka took Tsuzuki’s hand and stuck them in his own mouth, licking them seductively. He moistened Tsuzuki’s fingers, pulling them out, swallowing and moaning, offering Tsuzuki’s hand back to him. Tsuzuki propped Hisoka’s legs around his hips and slowly inserted his first finger into Hisoka. Hisoka let out a satisfied moan. Tsuzuki smiled and allowed his fingers to stroke in and out of the young man. Hisoka began moaning uncontrollably as Tsuzuki watched and smiled.
“Tsuzuki..” Hisoka said breathlessly, blushing. “I’m ready...”
Tsuzuki nodded and removed his fingers. Then he moved into his partner. Very slowly, Tsuzuki entered Hisoka. They both mewled, wanting more, but Tsuzuki took his time, unwilling to hurt himself or Hisoka in the heat of the moment.
“I love you!!” Hisoka shouted.
“I love you, too... Hisoka.”
Tsuzuki was all the way in. Hisoka’s body was so hot and tight. It wrapped around him like a new glove.
“It feels good.”
“I know.” Hisoka agreed, panting.
Tsuzuki rocked in and out of Hisoka’s body, revelling in the bliss of it all. He nibbled into Hisoka’s neck, licking him. Hisoka cooed loudly, holding him tightly.
“Tsuzuki, I can’t take it anymore...”
“Am I hurting you?”
Hisoka shook his head and pulled Tsuzuki down, kissing him ferociously. Then he ripped away and glared into Tsuzuki’s bursting amethyst eyes.
“I’m going to...” Hisoka couldn’t finish as he blushed.
Tsuzuki understood. He pushed into his young lover. Hisoka clutched onto Tsuzuki’s arms, groaning as he came hard between their bodies. He panted as he ejected. Watching Hisoka’s sexy display encouraged Tsuzuki to reach his own climax deep within Hisoka. The two collapsed on the bed. They held each other. Tsuzuki kissed Hisoka’s cheek.
“So... That’s what sex is like.”
“That’s what I like about sex.” Hisoka replied, grinning.
Tsuzuki turned and looked at Hisoka.
“And I want us to do it a lot more than just this once.”
“Only if you say so, kiddo.” Tsuzuki agreed as he kissed Hisoka’s cheek.
Hisoka resentfully turned away.
“Tsuzuki... I’m not a child.”
“I know you’re not... But to me... You’ll always be my boy.”
Hisoka turned to face Tsuzuki, smiled and held him.
“I love you, Tsuzuki.”
Tsuzki held Hisoka back.
“I love you, too... Hisoka.”
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