What can I say? I was in a stupid mood when I wrote this stupid fic.

Silly little supposed to be funny story starring the Schwarz boys.

Schwarz on Holiday

By Purple Penguin


Seagulls flew overhead across the blue sky, some landing on the sand. He closed his eyes relaxing, lying spread out across on a towel. It wasn’t often they got a holiday so he intended to make the most of it. He flinched when sand was flung in his face. With a sigh he sat up. What a shame he had to baby-sit a boy, a lunatic and an immature telepath. He wiped the sand off his chest, removing his glasses to clean them and looked over at what the others where doing.

Farfarello lay on his stomach, his elbows digging into the sand holding his head as he watched a crab scuttle across the beach. He picked up a piece of shell waving it at the creature smiling as it took the shell in its strong claws.

Nagi lay on a towel slowly eating an ice cream and absently watching what Farfie was doing. Brad lay back down in the sand.


Nagi leapt up and his ice cream fell onto Crawford’s chest. The Oracle jerked up, quickly wiping the cold, melting ice cream from his skin.

“What the fuck?”

Nagi hopped around trying to shake a crab from his fingers.

“You frightened him!”

The boy threw the creature down at Farfie. “I frightened him!”

The madman seemed unaffected, setting his new pet back into the sand. “I think I’ll call him Snappy.”

The Nagi shook his head and stormed off. “I’m going to find Schuldich.”


The fortune teller woman sat behind a round table in a darkened room. She studied a line of cards carefully.

The red head opposite her sat with his elbows resting on the table, sucking on a red Popsicle, he minding wandering. Boring. He couldn’t believe he’d paid money for this. This woman was so fake; he’d do a better job at this stuff. He pausing, that wasn’t such a bad idea maybe he should set up his own fortune telling business. If he only get Crawford to join in, think of all the money they could make although the chances of Brad Crawford willing doing something like that were very slim, make that impossible.

The woman flipped over a card. “A great tragedy will befall a friend today.”

The red head sat up. “Tragedy? Like what? As in death? Or a lost shoe?”

“I do not know.”

Schuldich rolled his eyes.

She flipped over the next card. “You’ll meet someone here, someone who has been watching you for some time.” She looked at the next card. “Now this is interesting. It says you’ll lose something here and it’ll turn up at home.... Do you know what that’s about?”

He shrugged, not even playing along for her sake. “You really believe this stuff?”

“It is written in the cards my child.”

He looked over his shoulder at the next person about to come into the tent. “I’ll give you a few pointers for her....”

The woman frowned slightly confused.


Nagi walked through the fun fair past the hordes of girls, the merry-go-rounds. He stopped at one stall watching a particularly cute blonde boy with hair in a ponytail throwing balls at a coconut. He smiled and moved the coconut with his powers. The boy jumped up and down with joy, causing Nagi to smile wider.


People screamed and fled from the fortune-teller's booth.

“Demon! Demon!” The old woman screamed chasing a smirking red head out of her booth.

Schuldich ran out through the crowds of tourists. Some people just can’t handle the truth. He headed for the bar.

Two equally muscled guys sat leaning on the counter watching a group of girls in bikinis. Both men were thinking about one of the girls. Boring. The red head smirked and edited their thoughts slightly. Now the green-eyed blonde had a fantasy about the other guy. The blonde leapt apart from his friend looking disgusted with himself.

“What? What is it?” His friend called after him.

The red head chuckled to himself. He dipped into Nagi mind, seeing the cute blonde at the coconut stall. ‘Like what you see Chibi?’

The boy jumped at the sudden invasion. ‘Schuldich? Where are you?’

‘At the bar.....’ He trailed off feeling eyes watching him. He winked at a guy at the end of the bar.

The green haired guy blinked and quickly looked away, feeling embarrassed.


‘Sorry Chibi I just found something more interesting to play with.’ With that he walked over towards the green-haired guy.


Nagi approached the cliff that over-looked the beach. Screams echoed from the small cafe and people fled past him.

“W-What’s going-”


He hurried towards the cafe hearing glass and tables breaking. One man rolled around on the floor covered in what looked like blood.

Nagi hurried over to him. “Farfie? Farfie what-?” He trailed off seeing dozens of empty ketchup bottles lying around the madman who got up smelling strongly of tomatoes. The manager ran out of the broken glass doors screaming and cursing them for the broken tables windows and for scaring all the customers away.

Nagi jumped as someone grabbed his arm. Crawford shoved him and Farfarello in the right direction, he didn’t look happy. “We’re leaving. Now”


Schuldich ran around the bar and straight into the others.

“We’re leaving.”

“We can’t go yet, I lost him.”


“The cute guy.”

Crawford pulled him along with the others.

The fortuneteller said I might find him later... did anyone suffer a tragedy?”

“I lost my crab.”

“Ooh spooky, now she is for real after all.”



“Shut up!”





Was the bad or was the bad?

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