Author's Notes: Written to and titled after Rammstein's Ohne Dich.

These: ~ ~ Marks mean speech in people's minds.

Ohne Dich

(Without You)

By Purple Penguin


So calm now the sea with no sign of the action that unfolded earlier that evening. He sat on the beach unusually still, quiet even. His fiery red hair wet and limp, sticking to his skin. Green eyes wide with loss, sadness and dying hope.

He didn't know how many hours had past since their plunge into the ocean with Weiss. He had searched the beach for the others, spotted Nagi who had been equally anxious to find another ally.

The teen had seemed happy to see him, relief in his eyes, which faltered when Schuldich had told Nagi that he hadn't seen the other two. They went separate ways after that both searching the beach for missing co-workers, friends, house-mates, lovers.

He shivered slightly in the night breeze, he was soaking wet.

He glanced at quickly as voices entered his head. He frowned, Weiss. He could see light from the other end of the beach; they would head this way soon. He could hear their relief at finding all their team alive and together, they would head in his direction soon. He didn't want a confrontation and they didn't either. Everyone was tired and just wanted to go home.

He didn't want to leave from that spot on the beach not without- without. He glanced back towards the sea, it had been to long, there was little hope that anyone else was going to suddenly appear alive and well.

He flicked his eyes to the sea one last time in one last hope that maybe it he wanted it badly enough....

The red head pulled himself to his feet, standing on shaking legs and headed off towards the far end of the beach where Weiss wouldn't go, where he could sit all night if necessary.

He sat on a rock at the far end of the beach against a cliff face. He probed the minds of these near him and found Nagi again.


~Schuldich? Did you find Crawford?~


The teen paused. ~You should go back to the car, you'll not help Crawford by freezing to death.~

The Chibi was right he reasoned. Sitting there feeling sorry for himself was not going to help and by now there was almost no hope that Brad had made it. He wondered idly if he'd seen it coming, do oracles see their death. Do you see any future past their final day? A future of others carrying on?

He and Brad had been lovers for a while now, not really in public but also not really in secret either. Nagi and Farfarello knew, of course, how could you not know each other's secrets in a cramped little apartment housing four men who not only lived together but worked together too?

They were never the type of lovers Schuldich would rather they had been. They had the love part, they slept together both for sleeping and sex, the German had feelings for the American everybody knew that, but Crawford never showed any signs that he returned them. He never told his lover how he felt for him, the only times he showed that he cared were the few times when he had done out of character things like not allow the red head on missions when he had foreseen something happen to the German or the future of the other man looked unclear. Or the few times he had looked at his lover like he might have cared.

With one last look at the ocean he stand up on wobbling legs and walked back to the car, Crawford's car. Weiss were still around so he was careful and moved in the shadows.

He walked up behind the car and straightened a bit when he saw what looked like someone sitting in the front seat, the driver's seat.

He walked around the side of the car to the passenger's door and stared in amazement.

The owner of the car glanced at him briefly then did a double take, both staring at each other before the American reached over and opened the passenger door from the inside to encourage the other man inside.

The red head got in and sat down, shutting the door behind him, still not quite believing his eyes. He stared at Brad, all the time he'd been sitting on the beach thinking he was dead. He started to think maybe he'd fallen asleep on the beach in the cold and was hallucinating.

The red head shivered in the cold car, noticing for the first time that Brad had a dry shirt and jacket on only his hair and neck were still wet. He wondered where he had got them from but then again he probably saw that he would need them.

"You're cold." He said the first words to break the silence since he had gotten into the car.

The American reached into the back and draped a small blanket over the red head. "Here, take your clothes off they're soaking."

Schuldich could only blink at him before doing what he was told and wrapped the blanket around himself tighter.

"Why didn't you wait for us on the beach?" He asked finally.

"Thought you'd be with, Nagi."


"Farfarello didn't make it."


They fell into silence again before the red head glanced up at his lover and continued to watch him until the other man noticed.

"I thought you were dead." He offered.


"Do you want me to go back to Nagi?" He asked, maybe the American wanted to be alone, not that Crawford was ever talkative.

"No." He turned on the engine and put the heaters on. "I'll go." He added as he got out of the car, leaving Schuldich to huddle in his blanket.

"Brad?" He added as the door was about the close.

The American paused.

"I love you."

"I know." The door shut and he watched his lover disappear off down the beach to find Nagi.



Return to Archive