Author's Notes: written for 2003 While We Tell of Yuletide Treasure
Authorís Note/warnings: Alright, Iíll admit it, I donít own Trigun. Iíve got some of the music, and a couple of episodes, but I donít own the rights to it, or the characters. They are © their respective owners, not me. The warning is as follows: Legato is in love with another man. If this bugs you, donít read any further. Certainly donít flame me whining about how it would never happen. Of course, if you do flame me, Iíll laugh. Especially if it isnít well written. I donít mind criticism, but only if the critic is literate.
The Letter Goodbye
By Lacey Parker
"Before I go, let me say it once. I love you. I know that I wonít be back, heíll kill me today, but I wanted to say it once. Even though I know you wonít see this until heís coming for you, you should know how I feel, how Iíve always felt. It started a long time ago, when you found that unfortunate little boy outside of Diablo.
"I think I was crying. Itís been so long that I donít quite recall. If I really wanted to, or you wanted me to, Iím sure I could dredge up the exact memory. Iím fairly certain I wasÖcrying, that is. A small, snuffling, runny nosed brat that stood outside of town, wiping the tears from his eyes. They had thrown me out. Another family gone, down the tubes. Nobody cared. I canít blame them, really. I was a freak, still am. I think the most unnerving part for them was when theyíd give me things and not remember. Perhaps I should have controlled myself better, but I was only ten. And selfish. You helped me with that.
"I remember looking up and seeing the most beautiful person in the world standing over me, waiting for me to notice him. I blinked, willing away my tears, promising myself right then and there that Iíd never show weakness in front of him, you, again. I think Iíve held true to that. After all, Iíve never told you my feelings before now, have I?
"I regress. You took me in, molded me, shaping my powers to fit your uses. After all, I was only a tool. Still am. For many years, we traveled, righting the atrocities that my kind committed towards the noble plants. Cities fell, and we rejoiced. Then, thirty or so years ago, you met again. Somehow, you had tracked down a member of her family. He had too. Luckily, you found the descendant of Rem before him. Took care of that problem, you did. Then he came in, shocked that you somehow got there first. He had the nerve to draw on you again, but you quickly put him back in his place. And you gave me his arm. A token of your love, perhaps? All I know is that I felt more like you, closer to perfection. Iím nowhere near your level, but with this arm, his arm, I feel closer to it.
"Of all the things youíve given me, I think I love you most for opening my eyes to the horrors we inflict on your brethren. We humans really are a terrible race. We waste and use the plants for our own purposes, then have the nerve to question you and your mission. Itís simply revenge. I know that now. You have to make sure we donít hurt them, your brothers and sisters, the plants. Your cause is just. Mine is selfish. I never cared, really, about what happened to them, the plants. I just wanted you, to be close to you, to be with you, maybe even to be you. But just a little. After all, you were, are my vision of perfection. Everything that Iím not.
"We do have one thing in common, though; weíre reviled by the majority of the population of Gunsmoke. You because youíre heartless, cruel, ruthless and a million other adjectives all amounting to the same thing. You wonít stop at anything to meet your goal. Me, because I sold out, Iím a traitor of sorts. I followed you when I should have known better. Yet, here I am, practically giving away humanityís future. Truly, you know whatís best for this pathetic planet and its inhabitants.
"Back to the present, I suppose. I know this will be my final mission, my final sacrifice for you. To make matters worse, I know Iím going to betray you today. Iím going to tell him where you are. But you want it this way, donít you? The last showdown to be between the two of you, the way itís always been. I think, in some weird way, he loves you, too. Why else would he continue to follow us? Itís been a long time coming, and I know that thereís nothing I can do about it. Maybe Iíll see you in the after. Perhaps heíll lose, though, and Iíll meet him first. I donít doubt your skills in the least, but I think his love of humanity will help him to prevail. Knowing him as intimately as I do, however, I think that if he wins this last duel, heíll keep you alive. Thatís just his way. As always, I wish you luck. Be it bad or good, thatís for you to decide, as always.
"Iíll say it once more. I love you. I have since the fateful day we first crossed paths, and Iíve never regretted any of my actions. Until now, that is. As I said, Iím going to betray you, and that is the one thing I wish I never had to do. The only consolation I have is that you would have wanted it this way, I hope. I want there to be some way you could tell me Iím doing the right thing. Please, let me do the right thing today. Donít be angry, or if you must, be angry with me. Iím leaving, and wonít be back.
"I remain hopelessly devoted to you, your faithful servant,
Folding his last words, Legato sighed to himself, walked out of the ship and toward his certain demise. Knives would read it later, this he knew. Smiling softly to himself, he disappeared into the distance.
Hours later, the man who would destroy civilization sat next to an empty bed, quietly crying. Sitting up briefly, he wiped an errant tear from his cheek. Holding it to the light, he watched it glow and shimmer. Licking his fingertip, he swallowed it. He stood, turned one last time to look at the lonely bed that would never be slept in again. Before he left to prepare for his own last battle, he spoke softly to the room that would never breathe again.
"You did it right, love."
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