Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be.
Feedback: Please, I need it to survive.
The Gull's Cry
For only one day have we been following the orcs' tracks and yet to me it feels like an eternity. My sense of time has changed so much in the past days. Before this quest I gave it the same attention all elves do, moving through the centuries easily and hardly noticing their passing. But with Boromir, every minute, every second became essential. The moments we shared together seemed to stretch out into the ages and become infinite, yet soon, too soon, the sun colored the sky. I realized the brevity of our time together and I was afraid, afraid of losing him. My fears were well founded.
Now time is stagnated, I feel each minute more keenly than I did before, because I don't have him by my side. The first night without him seemed endless. As we sped through the forest, the only thoughts that came to me were the image of his face, the sound of his voice, his infectious laugh. I ran wildly, tears I was barely aware of flowing down my face. My heart is an aching wound; I hurt so badly I never thought it possible. Only one thing keeps me from collapsing on the ground, closing my eyes, and never opening them again. Merry and Pippin. They are in the filthy beasts' hands and I will not have them suffer one more minute with them than they have to. The orcs take further and further away from us, our speed is no match for theirs. No matter how swiftly we travel, how determined our step, they elude us.
Earlier Aragorn found the brooch of an elven-cloak lying near Pippin's footprints. They strayed from the orc tracks, he probably tried to escape but his flight couldn't have lasted long. He wished to leave behind a token so that we may know where to pursue them. Boromir's affection was not ill founded; they have proven themselves braver than I originally took them for. We have stopped to rest now that night has fallen again, yet I cannot do so. My heart is too grieved. The orcs won't stop marching during the night; I fear we will lose all hope of meeting up with them soon, or at all. It is as if some force aids them, giving them speed. How am I to keep my promise to Boromir? How can I respect his wishes if the forces align in the enemy's favor?
Oh Boromir, why did you have to leave me? Life no longer holds any joy for me; the leaves have withered and fallen and the flowers will not bloom again. The night we used to share and fill with sweet words and actions is now empty. It misses you, my love, I miss you, I miss you terribly. My heart aches; it has been injured beyond repair. I look up at the stars, stars that were witness to our love. Their bright light seems dulled somehow, perhaps they grieve with me.
"You have not rested this night, have you?"
It is Aragorn, he has awoken. I have been too troubled by my thoughts to notice. I hear him move behind me. I don't turn around to face him, I cannot do so yet.
"I know you are hurting. I know what Boromir meant to you."
I shake my head slightly. Tears sting my eyes again.
"How can you know what I feel? The pain, it eats at me. I can't bear to feel this agony, to live this way. How am I supposed to live without him?"
He moves closer to me and places his arm around my shoulders. I welcome the solace offered by a dear friend, but it is small comfort.
"I know what you think of," Aragorn said. "I do not claim to know Boromir's mind but I know he would not want that for you."
"What are you saying, that I have to live for him? How, Aragorn? How can I live when all I feel is anguish?"
"It will get better. It will take time and the hurt will not diminish completely, but it will become bearable, trust me. Alas, we are not allowed the opportunity to grieve him properly."
Aragorn's words calm me a little, but only a little. My heart still aches. I gaze towards the north and I remember our most present problem.
"There is one last wish of his which I am afraid I will not accomplish. The two hobbits we search for, he gave his life in their defense. I promised him I would not rest until I saw them safe, yet now I doubt I will do so. They are far, far away." I turn my head to Aragorn. "I know in my heart that they have not rested this night. Only an eagle could overtake them now."
"Nonetheless we will still follow as we may."
He rouses Gimli and informs him that we are to continue on our trek, even though I think it hopeless.
"I fear they have passed beyond my sight from hill or plain, under moon or sun."
I despair of seeing them again, for they are now beyond our reach.
Return to Archive | next | previous