Shingo: IMPOSSIBLE

By Stefi

       

Shingo Yabuki woke to the annoying sound of his alarm clock blaring the latest bubblegum-shit-pop song by some nameless pretty boy band. With a sigh, he sat up and shut it off. 8:00 AM... Stretching, he stood up and headed for the bathroom with his usual outfit.

After a short shower, Shingo dressed himself, putting on his headband and gloves on with pride. He was going to see Kusanagi-san today!

...of course Kyo had no idea that his stalk-- err... PUPIL was stopping by. He'd made previous arrangements to... well, you'll see.

       

Once he made it out of the house, Shingo walked the short distance to Kyo's. He was hoping to get in some training, maybe learn something new today... and who knows? Maybe get even closer to his idol. He finally made it to Kyo's front steps when he could hear people talking inside.

"Are you ready or not? I don't have all day..."

"Yes you do."

Muttering.

Laughing.

Footsteps nearing the door.

Shingo did the only thing he could think of... he dove into the bushes.

The door opened slowly to reveal Kyo Kusanagi stepping out of his house. "C'mon! I wanna beat the crowd!"

"Yeah, yeah..." Came his unseen companion's reply.

Shingo ducked his head further into the bushes and tried his best to see through all the leaves who came out of the house. If he wasn't going to be able to spend time with Kusanagi-san, then just who was?

Heavy footsteps emerged from the Kusanagi house with a faint smell of smoke. Iori Yagami.

Kyo sighed. "Those things are going to kill you someday..."

"Whatever, can we just go?"

"Yeah, c'mon it's this way." Kyo began walking off.

Iori sighed and flicked the cigarette into the bushes... unfortunately for Shingo it landed on his shirt, burning a small hole in it. He tried his best not to shout when it burned him.

"Sometimes I wonder why I bother with that guy..." The redhead muttered before walking off after Kyo.

Once Iori's footsteps were out of hearing range, Shingo jumped out of the bushes, fanning his chest off. With a pout he looked down and saw that the hole was QUITE noticable. He sighed and took out his notebook from his vest.

"Note to self: steer clear of flying cigarettes." He said while writing it down. "Now to follow those two...."

And Shingo was off again, trailing a safe distance behind Kyo and... Iori of all people. Shingo didn't really question it much, but it did strike him as odd. He stopped once the two entered some small diner-type place. How was he going to keep an eye on things now? The place was so small and if Shingo went in there, he was sure to be noticed by Kyo and Iori. But if he didn't go in, he wouldn't know what was going on.

Shingo glanced around... then he saw it. In the parked car he was conveniently standing next to, there was a trenchcoat and a fedora... forget convenient, some deity was smiling on the young man. Making sure no one was looking, Shingo reached into the car and grabbed the trenchcoat and pulled it on, then grabbed the fedora and placed it on his head. Now in his "fool-proof disguise", he entered the small diner.

'Small' was totally the wrong word to describe this place. It was more like tiny. Miniscule. Minute, even. And a dozen other adjectives found in a thesaurus. Shingo took a seat at the counter not too far from the booth occupied by his idol and Yagami.

       

"Now this is really sad..." Iori said quietly, eyeing Shingo as he came into the diner in his 'disguise'.

"What are you talking about?" Kyo asked.

"Don't look now but your number one fan just walked in... no, don't turn around... he's in some kind of disguise." Iori said, sounding amused.

"Oh great..." Kyo muttered. Never a moment's peace. And he really thought he could enjoy this day with his ... friend... yeah, that's it. His *friend*. "He's not doing anything stupid, is he?"

"Nothing aside from the usual stalking tactics.... wait... no, he sees me looking at him and I think he almost fell out of his chair." Iori smirked at Shingo and nodded. "Whatcha lookin' at, buddy?"

Shingo squeaked before replying in a deep voice, "N-nothing, young man!" He quickly averted his gaze from the redhead and hid his face behind an upside-down newspaper.

Iori chuckled. Scaring people was always something he enjoyed.

"You're awful." Kyo reprimanded the other male.

"You love it and you know it." Iori said quietly as he leaned back and opened his menu.

Kyo shrugged before playfully replying, "Never said I didn't."

Iori leaned forward a bit and purred. "Too bad we're in public, otherwise I'd let you throw me on this table and fu-"

"Whatcha guys want?" A waitress interrupted Iori's plans. Her question was met by a glare from the redhead.

"Umm.. I'll have eggs scrambled with bacon and some coffee please." Kyo said.

The waitress, who we'll call 'Flo' took Kyo's order. "Okay... what about you han'some?" She asked Iori.

Iori glared at her some more. He hated being hit on... especially by women. He found them fake and repulsive and bitchy. "Steak and eggs." He said icily.

"How do you want y-"

"Bloody."

"Erm, okay..." Flo jotted down Iori's order. "Anything to drink?"

Iori eyed Kyo and smirked before replying to her, "Nothing on your menu, I'm sure."

"O...kay. I'll be back inna bit, then." And she scurried away.

       

Meanwhile, poor Shingo was nearly hyperventilating. They were on a fucking date! He needed to calm down... the shock was just too damn much for his poor mind... that and Iori scared the living shit out of him. "Memo, memo..." He muttered, fishing around for his notebook. Once he pulled it out, he began to write again, muttering to himself.

'8:43 AM- Kusanagi-san and Yagami-san appear to be on a date of some kind.' He drew a little sad face next to those words, then continued, '...and if I weren't so sure of this disguise I cleverly found in some car, I would almost swear that Yagami-san recognized me. But, I resorted to making my voice deeper when he asked me what I was looking at. I fooled him pretty well. I just hope I can keep this up all day.'

Flo stepped out infront of Shingo. "Your order, kid?"

Shingo looked up into Flo's green mascara and said in the same voice he used on Iori: "Just coffee, missy."

Flo quirked an eyebrow at this seemingly mentally unstable boy before scribbling his order down and walking off.

Once she was gone, Shingo strained his ears once again to try to hear Iori and Kyo's conversation.

       

Kyo leaned across the table, whispering to Iori. "So now what do we do? I don't want him following us around all day."

"You just want me to yourself."

"...Please, I could just as easily get Benimaru in the sack."

"So could I." Iori shrugged.

A short silence between the two young men...

"...So what do we do?" Iori asked.

Kyo tried not to smile. "Well, I was thinking..."

       

They were being too quiet! Were they onto him? Shingo certainly hoped not. He had to keep an eye on things to make sure that beast Yagami didn't try anything with his beloved Kusanagi-san!

       

After a short and not TOO embarrassing breakfast, Iori and Kyo left the diner... with Shingo not very far behind in his "clever disguise".

He followed them to the record store, where Iori subjected Kyo to all his scary punk rocker friends; He followed them to the movies, where he could have sworn he saw Kyo put his hand on Iori's thigh... then he followed them to the park.

       

Kyo sighed as he rested his hands behind his head. "Geez, is he STILL following us?"

Iori, smoking and leaning against a tree, nodded. "Yeah I can see him hiding behind that hotdog vendor."

"We've tried scaring him away... we've tried hiding; Nothing works!" Kyo was just a bit upset.

"Don't get so dramatic, I'm sure we can think of something."

       

"Kid, are you gonna buy something or are you just gonna kneel there all day?" The hotdog vendor was not pleased.

"Shh! I'm on private business!"

"And it's ruining MY business!" Shingo narrowly evaded getting stabbed with a pair of tongs. "Get away from my cart, kid!"

"Who are you calling 'kid', young man?" Shingo asked in his 'disguised' voice.

"That's it..." The hotdog vendor guy took out his cellphone. "I'm calling the police on you, ya freak!" He began to dial.

"W-wait! We can work this out!" Shingo made a grab for the phone, but the hotdog vendor moved out of the way, causing Shingo to knock the cart over.

       

"... He's not very good at going unnoticed." Iori pointed out.

Kyo nodded, then something caught his eye. "Ooh, boat rides. We could probably get away on one of those."

Iori sighed. "Those are for girls..."

"C'mon... you wanna get me alone or not?"

"..." Iori practically dragged him over to the docks.

       

"Oh no!" Shingo wailed. "Where are they going now!? I gotta follow them!" He started to run after Kyo and Iori when his shoulder was grabbed. Shingo turned around to see Blue Mary. "Oh, hi Mary!"

"Heard you were disrupting the peace and you even knocked over this poor guy's hotdog cart." She said.

"N-no! It's not like that! I was hiding and I-"

"Yeah, yeah... let's go, kid." She slapped the handcuffs on him. "You have the right to remain sil-"

"But I have to make sure nothing happens!!!" Shingo flailed, then broke into a run for the docks, dragging a rather disgruntled police officer behind him.

"Shingo! You Moron!!!" Mary shouted.

       

Iori blinked, getting into the boat. "Don't look now but we have company..."

Kyo sweatdropped. "Why me?"

       

Shingo jumped into one of the row boats, still attatched to Mary, and grabbed the oars. "I have to watch them! God only knows what Iori will try!"

Mary's left eye twitched.

"Don't worry Kusanagi-san! I'm coming!"

       

Kyo turned around at the mention of his name. "...Shingo's gaining."

"Figures." Iori complained and handed the oars to Kyo. "I'll take care of this..."

       

Shingo blinked. "What's Yagami-san doing?"

Mary shrieked. "YOU IDIOT, MOVE THE BOAT OUT OF THE WAY!!!"

Purple flames... really big purple flames came roaring at them.

Shingo clung to Mary. "AAAAAAAIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"

"Let go of me, you pervert!!!" Mary whacked him in the head a few times.

"But the boat's on fire!!!" Shingo yelled frantically.

"I'm well aware of that!"

       

"Did you have to set his boat on fire?" Kyo asked.

"It stopped him, didn't it?" Iori smirked, leaning back.

"Yes... but for how long?"

       

"We're sinking!"

"Obviously."

Shingo was in a panic. "But I can't swim!"

"...You'd better learn fast, then."

"Waaaaaaaah! I'm gonna die a virgin!"

       

"Looks like their boat is sinking."

"Looks that way."

       

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod..."

"Shingo will you calm down!? If you panic, we're both gonna sink! Don't forget I'm handcuffed to you!"

       

"Looks like they're drowning."

"Looks that way."

"Think we should help them?"

Iori rolled his eyes. "....Fine."

Kyo paddled the boat over to where Shingo and Mary were struggling to keep afloat. He grabbed Shingo by the back of his shirt and hoisted him into the small boat. Mary climbed in on her own.

"K...Kusanagi-san... you saved my life..." Shingo looked up at his savior with adoration. Iori could have sworn he saw sparkles radiating off of Kyo's over-zealous student.

"Shingo, what are you doing out here?" Kyo asked.

"And dressed like that?" Iori added, eyeing the 'disguise'.

Shingo blushed. "Umm... well, you see I-"

"BRING THE BOAT ASHORE, WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!"

The four heads turned to see police cars surrounding the entire lake.

"I REPEAT, BRING THE BOAT ASHORE, WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!"

"Finally, my backup arrives!" Mary said in triumph.

       

"I don't see why I have to go to jail too!" Iori complained, getting into the police car.

"Destruction of private property. You set that dude's boat on fire." Mary answered, while writing her report down.

Once in the police car, Iori glared at Shingo, who was seated beside him. "This is all your damn fault. I could have gotten laid today."

Shingo folded his arms. "Yeah, well now neither of us can have him."

"I hope you're satisfied... you're in big trouble once we get to the jail." Iori threatened.

Shingo gulped. He KNEW what happened to young, attractive men in jail.

       

Benimaru ran over to the police cars by the docks. Looking around to see what was going on, he noticed Kyo. "My GAWD Kyo, what happened over here? And why are you soaking wet?"

"It was awful, Benimaru!" Kyo said, wringing out his shirt. "Iori and I were out on a date and Shingo ruined everything..."

Benimaru clapped his hand on Kyo's soaked shoulder. "Don't worry about it." He then retracted his hand tried to shake it dry.

"But he's going to jail! How CAN'T I be worried? He's so pretty, what if he gets raped!?" By this time Kyo was flailing his arms about wildly.

The blonde gave his friend a flat look. "This is Iori we're talking about. I highly doubt he'll be raped. Now c'mon, let's go back to my house, we'll get you all dried off."

       

"Stop looking at me."

"I'm not looking at you, I'm looking out the window!"

"...So you're saying you don't want to look at me? That I repulse you?"

"N-no, that's not what I'm saying! I'm just looking out the window!"

"Hmph. This is all your fault, you know."

Shingo sighed. "I know."

Silence.

Shingo almost screamed at what he saw. "Y-Yagami-san!! Turn around!"

Iori rolled his eyes, but did as Shingo said. He saw Benimaru practically coming onto Kyo. "...Nikaido."

       

"Oh, I suppose I could run by your house and dry off." Kyo reasoned.

"Good! Ohh, and I have this really cool thing I wanna show you, too!" Benimaru said.

"Oh?"

Benimaru smirked inwardly. "Mm-hmm."

       

"Yagami-san, what are you DOING!?!?"

"Trying to get out of here, what's it look like?!"

"Biting the door handle is not the answer!"

       

"Uh-oh... I just remembered somewhere I've got to be..." Benimaru said, looking past Kyo's shoulder at Iori breaking out of the police car. "See you later, Kyo." And with that, he ran off.

Kyo blinked. Today just wasn't his day. Not at all.

       

"YAGAMI-SAAAAAAAAN!!!" Shingo shrieked.

The End(?)

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