Author's Notes: A three hundred sixty word ficclet, dedicated to Madmax, for being the most DIVINE beta ever, and a hell of a girl.

Fascination

By Darkangel Rose

       

Fascination.

Fascination is the passion that draws me nearer to you, the obsession that brings me inexorably to your side.

I delve into the dark; tear my soul to pieces until nothing’s left but bitterness. Stain the purity until it cannot cut me any farther. I need more: more sensation, more satiation, more fascination with you.

I cannot be human any longer. I will not. I need you, I need for you to reach into me and rip out my heart. I want to see it beating in your alabaster fingers, to taste my blood upon your tongue. I want the pain, Draco, please. Hurt me like you’ve always wanted to. Rape me and beat me and then shatter my sanity into shards of a broken mirror, a mirror that could have changed so much, a mirror that only reflects lost possibilities, now, and a dark hurt that I’d just as soon forget.

Please hurt me.

My fascination, my fixation, my saviour in a devil’s costume. Misery loves friends and you’re the best I could ever ask for. It’s the fascination that makes me want you, the fascination that makes me need you. I will be anything for you – a toy, a puppet, a pet.

Hurt me tear me break me use me need me want me, Draco. Want me.

Nothing holds joy for me except your presence, and when I am not near you I ache. I ache and I need for you to be above me, making me feel, making me forget.

My fascination is a sick delusion, a perverse fantasy. A masochism borne from a life of constant pain. The pain of loss, pain of rejection, pain upon pain upon pain until my head is ringing with all the screams that no one else can hear. No one else hears them, Draco, but they are there.

So, please, Draco indulge my fascination, my curiosity. Show me how true those dreams are and fuck me until nothing else matters except the rhythm of your body against mine.

My fascination, my salvation, my ivory dragon painted in shades of silver. Please show me what it is to be free.

~ Fin

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