Delicious As Sin
It was the first night in a long time Harry didn’t dream. When he awoke, he was slightly disoriented. He looked around the room; he wasn’t in the Gryffindor tower for sure: there wasn’t a hint of red to be found, anywhere. The room was relatively dark. He reached for his glasses and found them on the side table. Then it all came back to him, he was in… Snape’s private quarters. ‘Eep!’ he thought instantly but then realized why. He sighed and pressed the pillow over his face. That night would haunt him forever. ‘He did deserve it…’ a tiny part of his brain rationalized ‘I mean that’s probably not even half of what he does to his victims,’ he thought.
"Suffocation will not help your predicament, Mr. Potter."
"So now we’re back to Mr. Potter?" Harry blurted as he removed the pillow. His glasses were fogged and he muttered a clearing spell. ‘Think before speaking,’ his mind reminded him, although Snape seemed to ignore the comment altogether. He set a tray down on the bed beside Harry.
"You need to eat," he said simply, before turning and sinking down in the same chair he had sat in last night. Harry ate in silence, not even daring to look up at Snape. He devoured everything on the tray in a record time. When, finally, he dared to look up he saw Snape, with his eyes shut, with his head resting against the back of the chair. He took a minute to examine Snape’s face. He noticed every detail with interest. Snape’s hair wasn’t oily, it was in exceptionally thin strands and in fact looked as thought it would have a rather silky feel. His nose was thin and somewhat crooked but not noticeably so. His lips were pressed in a thin line and his face that was normally marred with lines of worry seemed relaxed. ‘Not bad…’ Harry thought trying to understand Tom’s attraction. ‘When did he get those absurdly long eyelashes?’ Harry wondered.
Harry had always found it fascinating that a person always knew when they were being stared at and he watched as Snape’s eyes opened and fixed his face. His eyes seemed a bit fogged with sleep. He summoned a house elf, who disposed of the tray. For a few moments, Harry and Snape simply stared at each other. It was almost as thought a silent understanding passed between them. There was never to be any talk of what had surpassed the previous night.
"You should get back to your classes…"
"Do you really think I’m sane enough?" Harry said bitterly. Snape gave him a sad smile.
"If it had been anyone else I would have said no, but given the circumstances I say he deserved it."
"But how do I know I’m not going to do something stupid? I always hurt the people that love me…" Snape looked at him sharply.
"Does he… love you?"
"I don’t know."
"And the more important question Mr. Potter, do you love him?"
"I… I don’t know."
"Well, Mr. Potter you are going to have to think about the answer to that question; then you have to deal with the consequences. Perhaps I was mistaken in my hasty decision; you are still in need of some rest. When you slept… last night, did you dream?"
"No." Harry whispered. Harry knew this was big, he knew it was somewhat of an apocalyptic event. ‘How could I not dream? I’ve always dreamed, even after potions and spells, nothing worked…does Tom hate me now? What if he doesn’t come back?’ Snape looked as emotions flittered across Harry’s face, finally to settle on panic. He placed his hand on Harry’s. For a moment Harry looked like he was going to push it away but instead grabbed it and held on for dear life.
"What if… Merlin, he might never…then what will… will he…" Harry was babbling incoherently and Snape pressed his finger to Harry’s mouth. Harry went silent.
"Perhaps it’s all for the best…" Snape whispered, "If he’s gone it’ll be easier for you…"
"But does he hate me? I mean he might never come back!" Snape grabbed Harry’s face between his hands and pulled him close.
"You stupid boy…" he hissed, "you’ve already fallen into his trap. We all have childish fantasies; we all want to be indulged, to be loved. You say you don’t care where that love comes from but — oh! — it matters. You’re already so far in. He has so much he can use against you. There are so many ways he can hurt you. And if he doesn’t hurt you now, he might hurt you later. He’s the Dark Lord, he’s evil, he’s Voldemort, he’s Tom Riddle as well, oh yes the boy that got lost in the darkness so long ago."
"But he understands me! He understands what it feels like to be completely alone. He understands my pain."
"My-my, you’re indecisive. Yesterday, you beat him for the pain he causes you. So he understands your pain? Hmm, you mean the pain he causes? The pain of losing your parents, the pain of losing Cedric, the pain he inflicted on Draco. You have to understand, that even if you do fall for him, and he spares you, what about everyone else? Oh, you could ask him to show mercy to a select group of people. He would do it, for you. But does, which you don’t protect, should they die? Are they to be tortured and killed? How many can you ask him not to kill? Perhaps you could ask him not to kill anybody — would he do it? Would he do it, even for you?"
"Speaking from experience?" Harry said and he found himself turned around. There was a knee in the small of his back and his arm was twisted behind him. He made a mewl of discomfort. Snape held a bit tighter. ‘Ouch!’ Harry thought. Harry realized Snape knew the art of rendering a human prone and helpless very well.
"I am going to remove my knee Mr. Potter. As soon as I do you are to turn around and face me." His voice cut though the air like a sharp knife cutting flesh. Harry did as he was told and found himself in the extremely close proximity of, a very angry Snape.
"Whatever may have surpassed between Tom and I, is none of your concern. It was in the past, you have enough problems to deal with."
"But… why won’t you tell me? It could help me…"
"Do you really want to know? Do you want to know the dark murderous things your lover is capable of because I should think you already know." Snape spat, "I was a misguided boy with good intentions. I wanted to belong, to have a place in the world. So therefore, I fell into his trap. He said I would have power, wealth, and everything I could ever dream of if I joined him, if I gave in. He wanted me, in his bed and he was determined to get me there, so of course I gave in to him. He was one of the only people that made me feel special. He wanted me for my intelligence, because I could make potions. I realized how stupid I was… my mistake: he wanted to use me so I went to Albus. And to this day I’m still trying to make up for the sins I committed, and the terrors I wreaked while I believed in him. He said he cared about me but still I’ve been subject to the Imperius, and Cruciatious curse from his hand numerous times. Is that how he shows love?" Snape said and Harry looked at him with tears in his eyes. Snape looked away.
"… I… apologize… it was my fault. There was no need for you to be subjected to that. You are still under stress. I’ll take you to the Infirmary," Snape apologized.
"I… can I stay here?" Harry asked. Sure, he didn’t particularly like Snape but he understood him just a little bit better. He also made him feel… safe. Snape looked like he was about to protest but then seemed to think better of it. He silently handed Harry another potion, which Harry gratefully took.
He sighed, he was dreaming again. Tom was in the bathroom yet again and Harry shuddered at the memories. He was shaking as he leaned against the doorframe. Tom wore a pair of black pants and that was all. All the blood was gone but there were dark bruises and scars marring his skin. Tom’s reflection in the mirror stared at him calmly.
"I’m so…" Harry began and in one graceful motion, Tom turned and slammed his fist into Harry’s jaw. Harry hit the floor with a thud.
"That was for me," Tom said and bent down to Harry’s eye level. Harry reached out and his fingers grazed the burn mark on Tom’s stomach.
"Why… why didn’t you heal the scars?"
Tom’s vivid green eyes sought out Harry’s and seemed to be searching for something. His look was almost…seductive. He looked down slightly and gazed at Harry through his lashes.
"I wanted you to heal them… that is, only if you think I deserve it…"
Harry stood up abruptly.
"Do you think this is some sort of sick game!? What is wrong with you? Why are you acting so strange?"
"You said you wanted to own me kitten. You carved ‘MINE’ into my back love. Don’t you want me get on my knees and beg you?"
"I… No!" Harry exclaimed as he pressed his wand to Tom’s stomach and muttered several healing spells. He sighed in relief as he touched Tom’s smooth ivory skin, perfectly devoid of any evidence that the night before had even surpassed. Harry sighed as stalked out of the bathroom. He paced the room and was vaguely aware of Tom sinking down in one of the plush chairs. Tom’s eyes followed Harry’s frantic form as he paced back and forth.
"Kitten really is this necessary? Come sit," He said as he patted a space on his lap. Harry let out a strangled cry and sank to his knees at Tom’s feet.
"I’m sorry… I could never say it enough." Harry whispered. Tom cupped Harry’s face between his hands.
"You needed it…" Tom said
"But why… how can you pretend… how can you pretend that nothing happened. That it wasn’t a big deal?"
"I held it against you after, well you know. I think for a moment I hated you, but then I realized that I couldn’t: you mean too much to me. I need you with me. I will tell you honestly, because I think you can handle the truth, that compared to some torture that is given to people that was almost… nothing. And just because I’m so… happy." Tom purred and pressed his lips to Harry’s forehead.
"Just because," Tom said with a mischievous smile. Harry trailed a finger down Tom’s stomach. His mind was screaming at him, to make it up to Tom somehow. He hooked his fingers in the elastic of Tom’s pants and slid them down his slender hips until they fell in a puddle at his feet. Tom moved to stand but Harry pushed him down. He sat back down with a bemused expression. Before he had time to think Harry had his mouth. Harry couldn’t get over the fact that he had never done this to Tom, he had never let him sit back and relax and well enjoy the ride. When he attached his lips to Tom’s cock, Tom was trying to tell him not to, but he pressed his finger to Tom’s mouth. The only thing that could be heard was Tom’s moans of pleasure.
Harry sat back on the floor with a smile as Tom shut his eyes, trying to calm himself. When his eyes reopened, Harry was tempted to run. His expression was so lustful it was slightly frightening. Harry tried to move back but he was pounced on. He was laughing hysterically as he was dumped in an unceremonious heap on the bed. Tom was tickling his sides and he was begging for mercy.
"This is what we needed, you know. Just being happy and carefree…" Tom said as he rested his forehead against Harry’s. Harry looked away. What had happened the night before may have left Tom’s mind but it would haunt Harry forever. "I could do a memory charm…" Tom offered but Harry shook his head. He wrapped his legs around Tom’s waist as he was picked up.
"Tonight my love…" Tom murmured.
"No really… Tom…? What’s tonight? Tom?"
"I love you."
"What’s tonight!?" Harry asked frantically as he awoke. He found himself… alone. The dream had been overall pleasant, but it didn’t shake the worry that had entered his mind.
‘Tom wouldn’t do something stupid… would he? I mean it’s impossible to apparate into Hogwarts, I know that for a fact … right?’ Harry mused.
"Are you well enough to return to your own bed?" A silky voice inquired from the doorway.
"It is impossible to apparate into Hogwarts, right?" Harry asked, voicing his concern.
"Quite Mr. Potter, who would be trying to apparate here?"
"I thought we established the fact…" Snape began.
"I was just making sure you know. Just making sure Tom couldn’t do anything stupid."
"So you did dream?"
"Yes," Harry said as he stood. He glanced at the mirror and tried to smooth down his hair and shirt. Snape held out a clean robe.
"Ms. Granger brought it by."
"How did she know I was down here?"
"That fact seems to escape my attention; I suppose she’s rather intuitive." Snape said as he left the room. Harry quickly changed and walked into the other room.
"I should get going…" he softly murmured.
"If you are still in need of someone to confide in Mr. Potter, I am available."
"Thanks," Harry said and on sudden impulse gave Snape a quick hug before he left his chambers, leaving a shocked Potion’s Master behind.
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