Warnings: Non-con, chan (sex with a minor)
Summary: Harry can't sleep and decides to go over to Sirius... Sirius has problems with what is reality and what is not.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to JK Rowling, no copyright infringement is intended. I play with them in my head and for fun; not earning money from sharing it with fanfic readers. No real people were harmed in the writing of this story.
Notes: Set at the beginning of OotP.
Comforts in the Night
The night was quiet. Or as quiet as it could be with Ron's snores reverberating through the room. It still felt odd to Harry, to spend his time in this old house, but it was infinitely better than being cooped up at Privet Drive. Here, he had his friends (even if he was still angry at them for not ignoring Dumbledore and sending him an owl anyway,) and he had Sirius. And when he was lying awake like this, Ron's snoring was oddly comforting, something that brought back memories of safe and uncomplicated nights at Hogwarts.
It didn't seem like sleep would come back though, so Harry pushed the covers to the side and got out of bed. He pulled on the sweater that Molly had made for him over the pyjamas and went over to the door, unlocking it. With a last look over his shoulder, making sure that Ron wasn't stirring, Harry opened the door and slipped out into the corridor.
He tiptoed down the direction of Sirius' room. His godfather had pointed it out to him soon after his arrival, and told him that he was free to barge in anytime he wanted to talk. This was anytime. Harry was sure that even if Molly would find it highly inappropriate to go visit someone in the middle of the night, Sirius wouldn't mind.
Because he didn't want to wake up anyone else, Harry knocked lightly and then tried the door handle. The door opened, and Harry sneaked inside, pushing it closed behind him with a click.
"Sirius?" Harry whispered into the dark. The moon was shining into the room, it's light filtered by the old lace curtains in front of the window. It made a faint and blurry lace pattern form on the floor. There was a movement in the bed and a creaking of the mattress as Sirius sat up.
"Harry? Is that you?"
"Yeah, I..." Harry moved closer. "I couldn't sleep and wanted to see you. If that's okay?"
"Of course." Sirius' voice was a little hoarse and he cleared his throat. "Can I get you anything? Milk? Cookies... some chocolate perhaps?"
"Nah, it's okay. I think I mostly just wanted to talk to you." Harry smiled and sat down on the bed.
"I get those sleepless nights sometimes, too. There's simply too many thoughts and no one around to share them with," Sirius said, a little sadly, thought Harry.
"Exactly!" There were some things that Harry felt that neither Ron nor Hermione could understand, and some things that he just didn't want to talk to them about. Private things, personal issues, things that were none of their business.
"You can talk to me, Harry..." Sirius reached out and patted Harry on the knee. "You're shivering! Come, slip under the cover."
Harry hadn't noticed it, but the room was rather cold, so he was grateful for snuggling close to Sirius in the warm bed. Sirius put his arms around Harry and pulled him close. They lay like that for a while, in silence.
"I think we understand each other better than anyone else does." Sirius whispered. "You know what it's like to be cold inside and lonely, with nothing to look forward to, not allowed to feel any joy or have anything that means something to you. I know that the Dursleys aren't Azkaban, but for a young boy it could just as well have been."
Harry nodded. "I'm glad I'm here with you now. I wish I didn't have to go back to them next summer."
"Yes, you can stay here. We'll be close, keep each other company, talk, laugh, do fun things together..." Sirius hugged Harry closer. "I can talk to you... You'd understand what I mean, not just brush it aside. You've always been someone I can confide in, been my best friend."
"Shh!" Sirius kissed his cheek. "Everything's going to be fine. You're with me. We have each other..."
Harry wasn't sure what Sirius meant and he hadn't been prepared for the show of affection. It was creeping him out slightly. "Maybe I should go back to my own bed?"
"No, no. Stay. It's warmer like this. This is good." Sirius' hand glided over Harry's chest, coming to rest just below his navel. He kissed Harry again, this time on the side of his neck, just below the ear.
"Sirius!" Harry whispered as loudly as he dared. This was not how he wanted to be found, entangled in Sirius' arms, in his bed, if Molly woke up.
"It's fine, really. We need each other, Harry. You're so good to me." Harry shivered slightly as Sirius' lips moved against his skin. He placed his hand on Sirius' and tried to push it away.
"Well, I... I like you Sirius. You mean a lot to me." He tried to sound calm, even though his heart was racing. Something was wrong with Sirius, he was acting so strangely. And Harry really didn't feel comfortable with how that hand, instead of moving away, moved downward. He squirmed away from Sirius, only to find himself trapped by one of Sirius' legs, holding down one of his own.
Harry let go of Sirius' hand and pushed at the man's shoulder instead. "Sirius, stop this!"
"No, you don't really mean that." Sirius' voice was hoarse again, and not from sleep this time, as Harry realised when he felt Sirius' erection pressed against his hip. "It'll be good, I promise. Just like before, like it was when we were in school."
When they were in school? What was he talking about? Harry couldn't make any sense out of it, and he felt as if someone had just hexed a large block of ice into his stomach. Then the bed shifted and he was pinned down by the weight of Sirius' body.
"No. Nononono, Sirius, please no..." Harry's plea was cut short by Sirius' mouth, as it clamped down on his. Sirius took advantage of Harry's parted lips and pushed his tongue between them, kissing him deeply.
Harry tried to pull Sirius off him, but couldn't get a hold, his hands meeting nothing but naked skin. Why hadn't he noticed earlier that Sirius slept in the nude? As he continued to squirm, Sirius moaned, the movements causing quite a bit of friction.
When Sirius finally broke the kiss, Harry was much too occupied with catching his breath, getting some much-needed oxygen, to protest again. Then it was too late, as Sirius' tongue once again invaded his mouth. Firm hands slid over his body, in under his pyjamas, and then pulled his pants down and off him, Sirius shifting slightly over to one side to make it possible.
Harry made muffled noises as Sirius' hands moved over his naked thighs, then between them. This just couldn't be happening; it was a bad dream, a nightmare! He took a deep breath again as Sirius whispered some charm that Harry didn't recognise, then something cold spread inside him, in his arse. Something cold and ... wet?
Pain flared through him, almost paralysing him, when Sirius' hard cock pushed inside him. It felt as if he was being torn in half, the pain was just so bad. Harry felt as if he couldn't breathe anymore, and his entire body tried to knot up, curl into a ball. Harry could hear Sirius groan deeply, then whispered words reached his ears.
"You're so tight. So perfect." Sirius thrust into Harry, moaning and panting. "Merlin! Yes."
The pain throbbed inside Harry. It was a little less after the shock of the initial intrusion, but not by much. It was awful, and he felt sick. He was whimpering, but had stopped trying to get away. There was no way he could fight Sirius off anyway, being pinned down and ... penetrated as he was.
It felt like an eternity before Sirius moaned loudly, arching up and back a little, his hips thrusting erratically against Harry's body. Harry felt something hot inside him suddenly, and knew what had happened. Sirius had come. Inside him. The man relaxed back on top of him and kissed him softly, then leaned his forehead against Harry's shoulder.
Harry was silent. He didn't know what to say, or what to do, and both his mind and body felt odd, far away. So he just lay there, on his back, as Sirius pulled out of him and settled on his side, snuggling up to Harry and held him close.
"You're so good to me." Sirius mumbled and kissed his neck. "I love you, James." He relaxed and was soon asleep.
Harry didn't sleep though. He lay awake until the sun rose, crying bitter tears for himself, for what had just happened, and for Sirius, as he now realised what Azkaban and loneliness had done to his godfather's mind.
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