Author's Notes: These two villains are poetry in motion, and I don't think there are enough fics out there with them as a pairing. I decided to write one, as they have some things in common (both of them had a "father" that used them and experimented on them), I thought they might make an interesting pairing.
Sympathy for the Damned
Kuja’s pleasant dreams were rudely interrupted when the lap that he was resting on shifted abruptly. "Wake up," Sephiroth said urgently.
The sorcerer struggled into a sitting position and rubbed his aching eyes. "What’s the matter?"
"There’s a group of them closing in on us," Sephiroth explained. His features were tense and grim. "We’ve got to move, and be ready for a fight."
Kuja groaned, but he didn’t hesitate to pull himself together and struggle to his feet. Sephiroth helped him up, supporting him with one arm around his waist until he got his bearings. "Where are they?" Kuja asked, trying to shake the disorientation from his head.
Sephiroth wordlessly jerked his chin to the left, and Kuja followed the motion and saw a sizeable group of the bipedal demons approaching in the distance. He put his hand on the hilt of his rapier and bit his lip, unsure of what to do. "Should we just try to outrun them? They are slow, after all."
"We could, but our energy isn’t limitless, like theirs is. We’d get away for a time, but if we wear ourselves out they’ll catch up to us and we won’t be able to effectively defend ourselves." Sephiroth was glaring at the creatures, his Mako-enhanced eyes bright with battle lust.
"Just be careful not to bite off more than we can chew, Sephy. If we fight too many battles, we’ll get fatigued just as quickly as if we ran the rest of the distance." Kuja watched his companion uneasily, recognizing signs of his more aggressive side surfacing. Sephiroth was hungry for a fight.
"I think it’s they who are going to bite off more than they can chew," the swordsman growled as he reached into his pocket and withdrew the gun that Kuja had nearly blown his own face off with earlier. "Don’t worry. I’ve got no intention of letting them get close enough for melee. I can take care of them from here."
"Uh, is it a good idea to use that right now?" Kuja questioned carefully. "You said we’ve only got so much of the...what was that word...am-ammunition, right? There aren’t very many of them. I don’t think you should waste your little cannon balls on them."
Sephiroth glanced at the genome from the corner of his eye and smirked. "They’re called bullets, and don’t worry. I’ve got two cases of extra ammo. The less we exert ourselves, the better. I just have to wait a few moments for them to come within range." He would have liked to bring the rocket launcher with them, but the thing was too bulky for them to lug around, not to mention the added weight and mass of the rockets themselves. The gun would have to suffice for ranged attacks. He had brought as much firepower as possible, instructing Kuja not to touch any of the dynamite that he had loaded into the smaller man’s pack. He also had some grenades in both backpacks, but he didn’t want to use any of that until they reached the mountains.
Kuja fell silent, keeping any further reservations to himself. Sephiroth used to be a General, so he probably knew what he was doing. "Imagine me, using moderation," Kuja muttered, rolling his eyes at the irony. He had never been particularly cautious, before.
His thoughts were interrupted by a series of loud bangs as Sephiroth opened fire on the approaching menace. Kuja covered his ears with his hands and winced. For some reason, he had expected the weapon to make less noise than a full-sized cannon. He assumed that its size would mean it was quieter. He couldn’t help but jump each time his lover squeezed the trigger. He watched as one by one, the manifestations dropped under the assault of Sephiroth’s skillful aim. There were nine of the beings, and the closest that any of them got before being shot down was ten yards.
Sephiroth relaxed and put the gun away as he turned to face the sorcerer. "I suppose we should be grateful that they fall to normal weapons," he remarked in satisfaction.
"I said, we should be grateful that normal weapons can kill them!" Sephiroth hollered.
"I’ll be grateful later, when the ringing in my ears goes away," Kuja snapped, but he was smiling in relief.
"It’s only temporary. Get used to it, because I’ll probably have to use it again before we reach our destination." In a kinder tone, Sephiroth finished, "Come on. We’ve got to get moving again."
"What are crumpets?"
Kuja blinked, coming out of his daydreams of a soft bed and a cool glass of wine. "Pardon?" His ears weren’t ringing as badly any more, but he sounds still came muffled, as if he had cotton stuffed in his ears.
"Crumpets," Sephiroth repeated more loudly, "what are they? You talked about them in your sleep."
"Oh. Crumpets are round cakes of bread. They’re a sort of toast, but they’re thicker and full of holes so that the butter melts into them. They are those things I’ve tried to get you to try in the mornings. They’re sinfully delicious."
"I’m not much of a bread person," Sephiroth said dryly.
"Oh, I know, meat and potatoes for you. It wouldn’t kill you to try something that wasn’t slaughtered, once in a while."
Sephiroth shrugged. "Maybe another time." He glanced up and shielded his eyes with his hand, trying to determine what time of day it was. They were making good progress, but the distance was further than he had calculated. The storm clouds were moving sluggishly, so the danger from the cloud cover wasn’t dire, yet. He didn’t say anything about it, but he was concerned that they wouldn’t get to the foot of the mountains until after dark. There was that, and his hunting urges were dogging his heals. The anger within him for having to bother with this little ‘test’ in the first place was close to boiling over, and he began to fantasize about getting his hands on the people that put them here. He knew that he and Kuja were doing the right thing, by keeping a steady pace and fleeing to the mountain, but the savagery within him urged him to stop running and just kill the demons. There were too many of them to do that, however, so he forced his aggression down and tried to keep his mind focused.
To keep his mind off of the silent war within him, Sephiroth decided to try and satisfy his curiosity concerning Kuja’s dreams. "What were you dreaming about? Before the crumpet incident, you said something about room service, and then you started swatting the air and telling someone to go away."
Kuja almost stopped in surprise. He wasn’t used to Sephiroth taking so much interest in what he was thinking and feeling. The swordsman had definitely changed his attitude towards him over the last few days. An unwelcome blush rose in Kuja’s cheeks as he recalled his dreams. "You’ll laugh."
The jade eyes flicked to him momentarily, and the sensual mouth quirked. "Good. I could use something to laugh about right now."
"Very well, but remember you asked. I was dreaming of having wild, unrestrained sex with you in an expensive hotel suite."
Sephiroth’s grin increased. "Sounds good so far."
"Oh, but it gets better. Before we could get into bed together, a mob of children appeared and surrounded us. I think they were supposed to be our children or something, because they all had silver and white hair, and some had tails. It’s rather blurry, but it was absolutely horrifying! That was probably when I started slapping the air. I was trying to get them out of my way so that I could reach you."
Sephiroth’s pale brows furrowed and he gave the genome a look that said he thought he was insane. "Uh-huh. Interesting, to say the least. What do you think the dream meant?"
Kuja shrugged and winked up at the taller man. "I don’t know. Perhaps I’m going to have your baby and my mind is just telling me to be ready for parenthood."
Sephiroth stopped in his tracks and grimaced at the genome. Kuja put his hands on his hips and swaggered flirtatiously towards the General. "What, did you think I was made with hips like these purely for aesthetic reasons? Why, I’m surprised by you, Sephy. We genomes are quite unique in every aspect...including reproduction." He waggled his eyebrows at the stunned swordsman.
"Tell me you’re joking," Sephiroth said. It was the closest thing to panic that he had ever experienced in his life. His eyes latched of their own accord onto Kuja’s flat stomach, trying to determine if there was even a slight amount of expansion to it. The gears in his mind were turning explosively, calculating the likelihood of a male being able to carry a baby. Given the way Kuja was built and the fact that he was an experiment, the possibility wasn’t out of the question.
"Oh, no. These hips are good for birthing, as well as rotating just right, lover." Kuja advanced further, and he smiled when Sephiroth backed up a step. "What’s the matter? Don’t you want a little version of you? We could name him Sefja, after both of us."
Sephiroth’s mouth worked as the horror of what Kuja was saying outweighed any other danger he had ever been in.
Kuja suddenly burst into laughter, nearly doubling over with it. "Oh gods, you should see your face! If only I could capture that expression, Sephiroth! Oh...oh, I think I’m going to laugh myself sick! It’s absolutely priceless!" The genome was holding his sides and giggling madly. "I can’t believe you fell for it!"
Sephiroth’s face flushed ruddy and he let the breath he had been holding out in a rush. "You little bastard," he growled, running his fingers through his hair. "I thought for a moment that...well, you certainly look like you could..." He trailed off and found himself chuckling.
"So you do have a sense of humor, after all," Kuja laughed. He closed the distance and stretched up to plant a teasing kiss on the swordsman’s mouth. "Feel better, now?"
"I feel less like killing demons and more like taking you over my knee, but yes...I do feel better." Infected with Kuja’s playful nature, Sephiroth swatted the genome’s tight ass. "Enough playing...we have to keep going."
Kuja sighed, but he was still laughing softly. "As you say, oh panicked one."
They continued their march, and Kuja looked sidelong at Sephiroth and snickered again. "Your face could have been used to advertise a play called ‘The Greatest Fear’. Ah, you are so fun to tease, Sephy. Just priceless."
-To be continued
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